He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
