If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
