i just had sex bonerless
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So much rum. So many feels.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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