Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just invented taco cereal.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
