The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
