does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
