i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
