careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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