Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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