I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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