i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Randomize
