I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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