i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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