My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
