I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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