I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
