she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
