Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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