I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
