Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
