idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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