i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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