..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
