OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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