Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
