i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
