Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
