Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
