Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
