apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
