Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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