Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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