Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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