i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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