I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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