ugly people sure do ruin things
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
