i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
