U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
