By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
