She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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