I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
