Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
