But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
