love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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