problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
