i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
where am i from again
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
