I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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