She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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