were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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