Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
